“She doesn’t deserve it.” “She’s just going to do the same things over and over again.” “To many people let her get away with this.” All the negative voices want to come out and play when it’s time to forgive someone. In a previous blog I wrote about the power of forgiveness. It’s not for the person who has wronged you, but rather for you and your own sanity and self healing. When you harbor a grudge, it drains you. You can’t live a happy life continuing to hate someone for the hurt they have caused you. You have to forgive in order to grow spiritually. That doesn’t mean you continue to let them cause you grief. You just handle and treat them accordingly. Continue a relationship with them if you want or let them go and move on, but forgive them none the less.
I have been hurt to a point where I have felt that things are just beyond forgiveness and repair. Then I set out on this journey and found the power of forgiveness. I allowed myself to feel the effects of forgiving someone and it changed me and the way I felt about a lot of things. You begin to feel weights lift off of you by the hundreds and thousands of pounds. It’s a feeling everyone should feel. Forgiving someone is more then just saying it, it’s feeling it and meaning every word of it. You have to really forgive them. No more bringing up the past actions and holding it against them. This is actually where you decide if you can continue a relationship with the person. If what you are Forgiving them for is to much for you to continue a relationship with them, then don’t. Yoy don’t have to feel bad about keeping toxic people out of your life.
The power of forgiveness is one of the greatest superpowers and one of the most underrated. We are divine creatures who awareness some amazing gifts. You just gotta give them a try.
As we drove on and on past road constructions on countless amounts of detours I never thought today would be the day one of my intentions would come true. When we arrived at the cemetery I thought his only plan was to visit our sweet Nanas and pay our respects. As I knelt down to wipe the rubbish off of her tombstone, he dropped to one knee. “I had to make sure your Nana was here with you for this”, he said. I thought he was joking. Through the weeks he had been pretending to do so and I just assumed this was the same. I was filled with a million different emotions but I couldn’t help but want to look to the heavens and smile at my Nana.
Officially engaged! If you remember back to the vision board post it was one of the big things I put on there. When you love someone you kinda just want the whole shebang to start right away.
I’m always preaching the power of manifesting the life you want. Take time this week to write out a few intentions and see the magic that can happen.
Cleaning the kitchen and I see a beautiful purple looking vine coming from my black wire rack where I store my fruits and vegetables. As I get down closer I notice that it’s sprouted from my sweet potatoes. I began to feel the imaginary ants crawling all over my body. Tingles and feeling of total disgust and paranoia set in. I immediately feel the need to shower. No amount of soap or antibacterial sanitizer can make me feel clean enough to leave to sanctuary I have created in my bathroom.
I have extreme anxiety that is often set off by things that should just not be. Example: sprouted potatoes, tiny wholes, the separation in my hardwood flooring, the list is endless. I am usually good at keeping the feelings away except when I am in a depressed state. My depression and anxiety go hand in hand. I have not really been able to keep the depression at bay since the pregnancy. I have good days and bad days and then there is a whole lot of days when I’m just trying to keep my shit together.
I embarked on this journey of trying to find my inner peace, my zen, my spiritual quest I like to refer to it as I believe last summer. It was going swimmingly. I had finally found my peace of mind and was doing great. No pills, not so many days of depression, and I was finally feeling like my old self. Then I found out I was pregnant and it wasn’t going to be a viable pregnancy. As much as I scratch and claw my way out I just keep slipping back down. A couple nights ago I was rereading some of my old posts and noticed a key to why my journey was so successful in the beginning. My intentions!!! I wrote out some things I was trying to manifest and I read them several times a day. I was also listening to The Power of Now and a book called The Map which really kept me motivated and educated.
After this incident I am tired. I’m tired of having to lock myself in the confines of my bathroom, sitting covered in as much soap as I could possibly lather, on my shower floor while the water trickles down my body. Hours of my day lost until the anxiety subsides. I am ready to be the person I set out to be. So my promise to you, my lovely readers is to start our lovely Manifest Mondays up again. That means a new blog every Monday. Also I will start reading my intentions again. I want to help educate you all again on the miraculous begins we are! I will continue to be real, uncensored, and up front with you all every step of the way. We all have our days. We’re human right. I will not give up on the process.