Starting this New Year I wanted to make some drastic, yet much needed changes. I am a people pleaser. I feel angst when people dislike me or are upset with me. It sends me into panic mode and I attempt to right a wrong that wasn’t even caused by me. Ive become a door mat to many people because of this. I have “friends” who only contact me when they need a ride, money, a babysitter. Im not on their minds any other time. Usually I will agree to their requests, but feeling used in the process. I read a post about things you should do in 2016 and one of them was about eliminating people like this in your life. It sounded dramatic and I could do without all the theatrics so I decided on my own approach.
I started the year off by writing down my friends. In blue I made dashes next to the people who positively impact my life. In green we’re people who I can’t eliminate, but can chose to avoid. In red we’re the people who drain me. They are the people who don’t uplift me. Seeing this visually really helped me understand who is important to keep around and who I can let go. Mind you I’m not going to call these people out and say “hey we are not friends anymore”, but I’m going to ensure my time is not wasted trying to nourish a one sided friendship.
I am growing and changing every day. Evolving into the person I have always wanted to be. Constantly making excuses for people who treat me like nothing is not beneficial to this process. Somebody said, “It took way to long for me to realize you shouldn’t stay friends with people who never ask how you’re doing” and that there has so much truth. Friendships like any other thing in life need to be nourished by both parties. Its like pushing a horse up hill, if it doesn’t want to budge you look foolish behind it.
Work on building the friendships you have with the people who build you up stronger and stronger. Plant your roots in their soul and grow together. Good friends are hard to find. Let them know how much you appreciate them.