The New Me

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As I sit on my freshly washed linen engulfing my mattress I think to myself how far I’ve come this year. Ive conquered so much, beyond more than I ever imagined I could. It all started with a little tingle while staring out into the sky at my boyfriends aunts farm. I knew in that moment that I didn’t want to continue living life the same way. Sometimes you’re just sitting in your car or in the shower, anywhere, and you get a feeling like this isn’t where you are supposed to be. I got mine sitting on a copper colored chair while drinking coffee at a glass table and staring up at the sky.
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Im going to take this weeks Manifest Monday to update you on how the journey is going so far. Its been awhile since I’ve spoke about the different things I’ve attempted in order to live a happier life.

The infamous facebook, awhile ago I wrote about how I deleted it. I recently reactivated it. Its going good. I deleted everyone and slowly started increasing my friends. Now I’m friends with people who contribute to my life in a positive and productive manner. Ive joined some groups and I talk with people who are on the same journey as me. Before I used Facebook as a time filler, now I use it as a tool. It helps inspire me. My friends reach out and let me know I am not alone in this quest.

Operation have a baby took a holiday. It became overwhelming and i encountered some personal problems that I wanted to heal before I continued. One of them being the cluter I have in my 3 bedroom home. I began living like a minimalist. I no longer buy things just to buy them. Everything I have serves a purpose. Im still working on de-cluttering, but I can say its much better.

Another reason I took a break from baby making is because I wanted to forgive people. I want my unborn child to have so much love, family, and support they don’t know what to do with it all. I set out on forgiving my mother. My mother and I have a lot of damage, but I forgive her. Im not saying that it is okay for people to hurt you and break you as she did me, but its better for your well being to forgive people. I didn’t want to bring a child into this world while I still had hate in my heart. I was a child used as collateral and I dont want to be that type of parent. As long as you are a positive influence in my childs life, you can remain there. Forgiveness has made my heart so full again.

The relationship with my family is mending, but still rocky. Ive learned the patterns of when things are escalating and I become silent. I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to. That has been the most beneficial mantra. I have been filled with so much hate and anger over these years and with tears in my eyes as I type this it feels so remarkable to say I no longer feel that way. The way I handle and resolve my conflicts are so different from how I used to. I am honest with my feelings, I humble myself, I accept any part I had in the issue at hand, I remain calm.

This journey has been one of the greatest years. Its been full of chaos, but I’ve never felt so much love. Love from the Smith family. They embraced me during my weakest time and made me one of their own. Love from my room 5 and 22 coworkers who support me and let me cry, vent, and just be myself. Love from my students who make me feel like I am important to someone. Love from my friends who without id be lost. And love from all of you. Every time I receive an email, a like, a share, a new follower I feel the support. It brings a smile to my face and makes my heart feel so full beyond words.

I am happy to bring in the new year with all of you. 2016 I would like to take you guys on this journey with me. A journey of your own, but I will help you every step of the way. I want you guys to feel the change that I am experiencing. Its worth every step.

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Do No Harm

Covering my head with the small plastic bag filled with the coffee cup I had just purchased I made my way to my car. I noticed an older looking gentleman with coke-bottle thick glasses looking in the direction of my vehicle. He had a smile on his face and his arms were crossed as he was leaning back on one leg. He looked pleased with something. As I got closer to approaching my vehicle the man stopped me. “Do no harm,” he said with a twinkle in his eye as he pointed at the crooked bumper sticker on the back of my car. He began to engage in a conversation with me about peace and wars. We talked for a couple minutes about my spiritual journey, but it seemed like a lifetime to me. It was like we were old friends catching up. He told me he would follow my blog and made his way to his car. With all the turmoil and commotion going on that day all it took was  this perceptive nice gentleman to comment on something so simple to brighten up my day. It was strange. The rain stopped as i drove away and i felt at ease. If we could all just take the time time to apply those words to our lives things would be blissful. something so simple as “Do No Harm”

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We are approaching 2016! I would like you guys to join in on my wellness journey. Its going to be full of inspirational emails every Monday to get you through the week, positive challenges, meditation goals,and just helping us become the best possible us we can be in 2016. Feel free to email me at theurbanhippiemac@gmail.com to join. Tell your friends and have them email me as well. I look forward to hearing from you. Lets inspire one another.

 

 

25 things I learned before I turned 26

Inspired by Melissa Soule http://www.CandidlyMelissa.com

25. People may not understand the reasons you do the things you do, but people who truly care about you will support you.

24. Change is inevitable. You have to learn to roll with the punches. Sometimes the change turns out to be amazing.

23. One day someone who has loved you for as long as you can remember can suddenly have a change of heart, so instead of being fearful of that, make the time you have and share with them magical. The memories will get you through.
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22. Friends will come and go. Different circumstances in life will lead you down different paths. Try to be understanding of that. Its not personal, life just happens.

21. Break ups happen and they suck. Lean on friends that are empathetic. EMPATHY will get you through.

20. These are some of the best years of your life.  Cherish them hold onto the good, let go of the bad.

19. Don’t rush into college. Take your general education and really think about what you want to do.

18. Living on your own is hard. The struggle will mold you into strong, independent person.

17. Death is one of the hardest things you will ever encounter. Hold tight to tge people you love because you never know when you might lose them.
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16. High school isn’t really preparing you for the real world. Go shopping with your parents, watch them do their taxes, prepare yourself.

15. Be kind. You never know what someone is going through. Just a simple smile can make someones day.

14. Don’t compare yourself to the friends around you. You all come from different walks of life. They might have what you don’t but you don’t know how they got it.

13. Learn to enjoy your alone time. You need it.

12. Don’t believe everything you read or see on the internet. People let you see what they want you to see.

11. Think before you speak. You never know how the things you say can impact another person.

10. Racism isn’t something you’re born with. Its taught. You might start to lose some friends as you get older due to different ideas of what is okay to say to one another.

9. As much as you don’t like working, its something you have to do. Find a job you enjoy and work it well.

8. Learn to love Mondays, they really aren’t that bad.

7. Develop your own form of a self care routine. You might not think you need it, but you do.

6. You deserve more than what he’s giving you. Abuse isn’t something that should be acceptable. Sometimes sorry isnt going to fix it and “I love you” can’t be enough.

5. Having depression and anxiety doesn’t make you weird. You are not alone. Talk about it. Others can help.

4. You won’t always do the right thing, but its how you learn from it that matters. Don’t beat yourself up over thibgs that happened years ago.

3. Forgiveness isn’t something that makes you weak. It makes you stronger than imaginable. Its a weight lifted from your shoulders.

2. Your parents don’t always understand that they are the ones that are supposed to mold you into the person you are supposed to be. Your parents aren’t always right.

1. Cousins will be more like brothers and sisters. They will be some of the best friends you’ll ever have.
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Why?

As I began writing my original blog topic for this week I had an urge to switch gears and express to you why I even blog at all. If you are an avid reader of my manifest Monday blog posts you know that I started a quest to embark upon a spiritual journey. In one of the many books I began before this journey I read that you should keep a journal along the way. In the beginning this was my journal, but it has morphed into something bigger than that for me. I try to be as real and genuine as possible for the people who take the time to read this every week. My grammar and spelling are never perfect, but to me that’s okay. I write to you all in hopes of inspiring you to embark on your own form of a spiritual journey.

I am a bipolar, anxious, fearful 26 year old who has gone through some pretty tragic things along the way, like so many of you have probably have as well. I want to motivate you and inspire you every week. I try to let you in as much as possible. Im human, I have my down days. I can’t always be a ball of positive,  manifesting,  creative expression, but I write to you about it and I express to you how I plan on overcoming it.

I want you all to know that I have experienced the power of positive thinking and the wonders it can do. It can be challenging to focus so much on the positive especially when you are at war inside yourself; However when you do look towards the light its remarkable. I find it harder for me to snap out of my depression in the winter time, but I am constantly researching ways to charge my energies inside myself, balance my chakras, find the right healing crystals, and write out the right intentions. Its a journey. Its not something that happens over night. But trust me if you put in the work it pays off.

Things Ive done that have really helped me along the way would be surrounding myself with people who make me a better me. I try to only be around positive people. Its easier to stay in the now and continue to be inspired when the people around you are supporting you and positive. When I do encounter negative people I try to counter every negative thing they say with a positive. Notice how I said try, sometimes I join in on their pity party, because I am bipolar and its difficult sometimes. But most of the time I try to say at least 2 positive things without dismissing their sadness or concerns.

Another thing that has been very motivating would be making intentions and reading them often. Having them posted in varies places around my home helps remind me to read them. Just being able to see them manifest into truly amazing things is a great feeling. It makes you feel so powerful within yourself. “Wow I did that!  Just thinking something, dreaming, focusing my energy and it happened!  Wow you are incredible.” I find myself thinking.

I have found my happiness at work again, reconnected with my partner, built amazing relationships with friends from my past, and mended some relationships with my family that I thought were irreparable. All by thinking it. Its not magic, its just something we are all able to do if we try hard enough. Why not try it?  You can’t lose anything. Prove me wrong. Take one thing and write out an intention for it. Examples can be found in a previous blog of mine. Read that intention at least 2 times a day. Think about it often. Live as if it is already happening. It will start to grow and manifest so quickly. Just give it a chance.

I really hope I inspire some of you along the way. I have a normal job, I drive a Toyota, I have roommates, I am a normal person just like you. We can do this together. If you have any questions or just want to chat feel free to email me theurbanhippiemac@gmail.com

Its almost a new year!  Lets all embark on wellness journey 2016. Just focusing on getting ourselves into the best “us” we can be. Happy, thriving, adventurous beings. Take these next couple of weeks to really map it out and imagine how the best you would look, not physical features, but personality traits and characteristics. I look forward to experiencing this with you.

Sincerely Me