Having bipolar disorder and trying to remain in this positive state of kind I’ve been working on while not taking medication has been a battle. For the most part I am so proud of how ove pushed through. I’ve had a couple low points, but I am so blessed to have such great support system. They are the for me when I can’t bear anymore. Without them I dont know where I’d be.
I don’t talk to many people about having bipolar disorder because its something I haven’t fully excepted myself. I have extreme episodes of depression and mania. There isn’t a lot of inbetween with me. This journey has really helped me keep a level head. I can say thay I’ve felt more joy in these past couple weeks than I’ve ever experienced. Watching my life manifest into the life I want right before my eyes has been so amazing and helps motivate me to keep pushing. I wake up every morning with a main goal of being happy. Thos of you thay struggle with bipolar depression know how hard it can be to even fathom the idea of a happy life. For such a long time I didnt even feel like I deserved it. Reading in the book The Map and hearing how divine we all are and how special we can be has helped change my belief. We all deserve happiness.
I went to knightsferry yesterday with some friends for a spontaneous trip. I just soaked it all in. I made sure to admire all the beauty and remind myself to save these mental snapshots for the next time I feel sad. I went on a trip when I was 14 to the Grand Canyon and couldn’t see its beauty. To go from that girl to someone wanting to remember every moment of this trip os a big accomplishment.
We all go through our own struggles in life and wake up fighting our battles, but along the way just keep your eyes on the beauty around you. It’s these little things that keep us fighting. Its your own special medicine whenever the sadness hits.
You’re not alone.