My intentions……let them manifest into something magnificent

Intentions

  • I intend that Brandon and I are in agreement on whether to have children and how many children to have.
  • I intend to rebuild and strengthen my relationship with my family. I intend to be forgiving to all and release any grudges I hold on to.
  • I intend to be offered a job with June Bugs bar (or another company even better than that) for great pay and wonderful benefits as soon as possible.
  • I intend that my loving partner Brandon and I enjoy spending time with each other’s family and friends-adding to each other’s joy and fulfillment in life; and that we share similar concepts about being in and responding to these relationships.
  • I intend to create a deeply loving relationship with Brandon. I intend that this relationship will bring us love, fun, safety, security, laughter, freedom, trust, respect, intimacy and joy.
  • I intend that Brandon and I share compatible ideas of lifestyle, including how we keep and decorate a home, divide chores and spend our free time.
  • I intend that Brandon is as committed to creating a caring, loving, and growing partnership as I am.
  • I intend to create this loving relationship in a physical area I love that is easy, fun, healthy, and joyful for me to reside in.
  • I intend to buy a home in Seattle (or a home in a place more wonderful than that) for a great price with terms that I love, in perfect timing.
  • I intend to find a way out of my current financial situation, for it to be lifted from me in ease and in a way that is not stressful. I intend for it to improve with harm to none.
  • I intend to find a career that is enjoyable and exciting. That it fits my temperament, gifts, talents and skills, and that it pays well and manifests in perfect timing with harm to none.
  • I intend to keep my body weight at the range of 150-180 lbs with ease and elegance.
  • I intend to be drawn to and crave the movement, food and body/energetic work that my body needs to stay in perfect shape. I intend to this will have the greatest positive impact on my physical, energetic, spiritual, and mental intentions.
  • I intend to form a deeper and stronger bond on all levels with my unseen’s friends who support me in this lifetime.
  • I intend to deepen and strengthen my loving relationship with God and Goddess.
  • I intend that my home is a loving and transformative place for us and the people in our lives to grow love and heal.
  • I intend to be courage’s adventurer and risk taker-secure and confident about whom I am.
  • I intend to feel that I am always in the right place at the right time for all of my intentions to come true.
  • I request and intend to receive help from all of my unseen friends to manifest all of my intentions even greater than stated, with harm to none.

Read intentions twice daily. Read them once in the morning and once before bed.

Focus energy on them. Live life as if they are already happening.

 

Read these before bed:

“Higher self please help me to see and own more of who I really am. Helping me to remove whatever may be in the way of recognizing my divinity and the power and ability I have to create my reality. Please show me and guide me in gentle, loving, and easy ways, with harm to none. Thank you, higher self.”

“Higher self I would like you to join me in this blending. Make your presence and your love know to me. I seek to have a greater knowing of who I really am, and to open my divinity and my God-given ability to create my reality. Please help me with these intentions with gentleness, love, joy, grace and harm to none.”
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These are my current intentions listed in matter of importance. I thought that showing you guys might give you some help on how to write your own intentions. Good luck and happy manifesting. If you have any questions feel free to message.

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The Idea Of Minimalism

Shuffling around my tornado whirl wind destruction of a house squeezing past multiple vacuums and lonely shoes I decided I needed to purge! In the last I blog I mentioned how sometimes you feel the need to buy things to impress the people around you, well I am guilty of that a million times over.

I have a three bedroom house with every room furnished to the max. I spent the past five years rebuilding my shattered life from a previous breakup. I lost a lot along the way and I felt the need to fill the void with “things”; Vases, wall art, candles, clothes, shoes, and more than enough coffee tables. I like how buying stuff makes me feel. Its my stuff, nobody can take it away from me. When I get paid I go and buy more things. Sometimes they serve a purpose, other times they just sit on the top, out of reach shelf of my closet.

In August I got hurt at work and have been taken off ever since. These past months I’ve watched my beautiful home turn into a place I dread waking up to. The piles of laundry I cant lift or fold has taken over my laundry room. ” I despise these things,” I say to myself. My hand injury has left me wanting a empty home that I can actually maintain.

One of my friends had posted a picture on instagram a bit ago about purging 80% of her belongings. I began doing some reading. Minimalism to me Is about not having so many things that you are emotionally attached to. Giving items that emotional connection gives them power over you . They control you. I’ve been playing around with the idea of moving to Seattle, but cant fathom the idea of transporting all of my belongings. I started feeling like my dream is out of reach because of all my worldly belongings. My items hold me back from so much. I have anxiety when It comes to allowing my friends over because my home isn’t as organized as I would like. I have started to feel overwhelmed with all the things I own.

I decided to look more into becoming a minimalist. thinking maybe this is just another part of my spiritual journey. I’ve watched video after video, pulling tips and advice from each one. I’m going to start this process by going from room to room with three boxes, each box for a different category. I will either trash, keep, or donate my items. Some minimalist put a set number to the amount of things they can posses, but this is to intense for myself. I will merely just try to remove the clutter that clouds my life. I have clothes that I haven’t worn for years…my prom dress from high school, a old sweater from when I was 5. I found a pin awhile ago about turning your hangers the reverse way and getting rid of the items that don’t  leave the hanger or that don’t get turned the right way. I’m going to do this . Something else I saw that I liked was donation Sundays, every Sunday a man on one of the videos I watched takes five of his items to the Goodwill. I plan on doing the same.

I really adore the idea of being a minimalist. The idea of being more organized really excites me.

At the end of every month I want to give a update on how everything is going with my journey. I want to elaborate on how my vision board is working, how my manifestations are working, the meditation, how I’m doing with deactivating my Facebook, and now my minimalistic life style. I want to let you guys know how I’m feeling. I would like to inspire you to embark on a spiritual journey of your own. It is the best decision I’ve ever made for myself. I feel free again.

Sincerely Me

Lets get lost……..

“Don’t you ever doubt just believe”

Ivory Tribes

Those simple little words reached my soul in such a way that it felt like I was on the outside of my body pulling my own soul out and bringing it back to life. I’ve been so numb to things and the world around me. Not being able to fully experience your experiences is grisly. But on September 18, 2015 I felt alive again!Screenshot_2015-09-19-12-58-07-1

Dreading the whole idea of going to a concert where I would be standing for 4 hours straight listening to music I barely know to see one band I enjoy just didn’t seem delightful; however my boyfriend really wanted to go so I agreed. Waiting for the band to come one I was overwhelmed with anxiety because we were upfront and centered to the stage. Close enough that we could wrap our arms around their feet if we got the desire. A band by the name of Ivory Tribes was the first to play, an indie band from Dallas, Texas. These 5 young men will never know how deeply they energized and awakened my soul. They entered that stage and started playing and I felt a shadow lift from my eyes. It’s so weird to put into words, like what is this crazy woman saying? Music has always had a way of pulling me out of my depression, but lately I haven’t been able to connect to it enough to feel touched by it. I feel like this concert was exactly what I needed to jump start the “Let’s get lost” portion of my spiritual journey.

In order to grow as a person, to be fully changed you have to get out and experience life. Living your life in your home overly enthralled with your TV screen or your recent Facebook feed is damaging. Going to a music event, going on a hike, sitting around a table shooting the shit playing board games with your friends those are the types of experiences you need to survive spiritually. When we live our lives with a screen barrier all we see is a disillusioned distorted version of actual reality. We see what these people want us to see, not the actual factual version of what is going on in their lives. With this information that they give us we beat ourselves up over the fact that we don’t have what they have and we live to “top” their experiences. Our lives become consumed with Sandy getting a new car or Tiffany expecting her 2nd child and you’re still trying to have 1. It starts to make you despise your friends because you’re so overwhelmed with jealousy.

This year I have been trying to conceive a child. Every month that “beep beep” notification on my ovulation tracker nicely reminds me that it’s time to start baby dancing. For the next couple of days me and my partner do everything we can possible do to create life. Every 14 days after that, like clockwork, shark week arrives. I feel a lump in my throat and an oppressive pain my heart like someone won’t stop stabbing me with a screwdriver. I shut down for a couple of days and isolate myself so I don’t have to face the world and deal with the awful month ahead of me. The month is full of awkwardly laughing and shrugging off the questions of “Did it happen?” “Did you test? “Was it positive?” Nonchalantly avoiding the fact that the thing I want more than anything in this world seems so out of reach for me. The bitter jealousy sets in when I go on Facebook and see yet another post about one of my friends expecting. How could I feel this way towards someone I care about? I should be joyess for them, but all I feel is pain. I turn my anger towards my partner. Tearing down the man I love, blaming him for our lack of conception. How was this his fault? We were both doing everything that we could physically do to bring life into this world. This spiritual journey has helped me with that. You have to own up to the things that are happening in your life. Remember “you” and only you create the life you want.

In the book The Maps the author states that you should specify your intentions in order to manifest them. I had been manifesting bring life into this world which obviously wasn’t specific enough. 6 weeks ago my cat had kittens and and my boyfriend aided in her labor so my manifestation did happen, we helped her bring life into this world.  With certain things that you are praying for or trying to manifest you should make sure to specify them, example instead of saying, “I want to bring life into this world with my partner” I could have said “I intend to create life in my womb with my partner, I intend for us to have a baby together in the next couple of months, I intend for it to be a healthy pregnancy” that was very specific and conveyed exactly what I want.20150921_135541

Deleting my Facebook has really helped me get full experiences out of my life so far. I don’t feel the need to make a status every time I do something and I don’t feel obligated to try to mimic someone else’s life. I’ve set out my intentions and I am working on manifesting them on my own. In the end we have the power to have the life we want. We can’t blame anyone for the things we don’t have because we have the ability to obtain everything that the universe has to offer. You just have to believe, free your mind, and be open to how that manifestation happens.

Sincerely me

Manifesting, Meditating, and Vision boards

I’ve deleted my Facebook! I’ve noticed that Facebook helps aid me in not seeing people in person because I can just view their lives via the internet. With all that’s going on in the world it also is just a disease hate race baiting caldron. I wake up post my positive manifestations for the day and start scrolling…….negative post after negative post. If you are embarking on a spiritual journey with me I urge you to deactivate your account. Even if you just do it for a week. Look at how different your life is. Really soak it in. you have more time in your day, you start to develop better connections with people. It’s just an awesome experience. I can tell you I was so scared to delete it, just because I use it as my time filler. When I bored, when I’m hanging out with my friends, everywhere. But I feel so free now. I know it sounds so cliché but it’s true.

When you tell people you’re starting a spiritual journey the responses vary. From most of the people I’ve told are so enthralled in what I’m saying I feel like I can’t even take I breathe because I don’t want to stop talking about this thing that I’m so passionate about. “I’m creating the life I want”, I tell them proudly. I notice that others have a lot of criticism. Those are the people I try to steer clear of. I’ve always been the type of person who lets others opinions and visions of me influence what I do and how I act or feel about myself. I don’t want to allow myself to let anyone talk me out of being positive.

One of the goals I made for this week is to be more aware of the conversations I take part in. Are they constructive? Are they going to lead to something positive? Are they confrontational? I haven’t figured out a system on how to avoid those confrontational talks that are just going to lead to a fight so I just keep quiet. You don’t have to be a part of a negative encounter. It’s rude to walk away, but it’s also not productive to stay and battle. Most of the time people just want to be heard anyways so just let them talk. No harm can come from you just listening. It doesn’t mean you are wrong or that you are to blame, it just means you are taking a stand and choosing to not retort with fire igniting negative energy.

I have high hopes for this week. I want to put my manifestations out into the universe so they can come back to me. I usually make a vision board every year and hang it up on my wall in my room and there it sits until the end of the year. I don’t really pay it any attention until I see that it’s the end of the year. I go back, check it, and see if I’ve accomplished any of those things. This time around I made a vison board with a purpose. Not only am I going to hang it in my room, but I’m going to put one in my car, in the bathroom, on the mirror…just about everywhere that I can see it. I’m going to tell myself every time I see it that those things are my truths and they are in the process of happening. My vision board isn’t just my dream board…it’s my life. It’s the life I want to have and I will get that life.20150914_143816

Being positive is not always going to be easy. Some days we are going to be upset and that’s okay. It’s just how you handle the emotion that matters. My goal for the week is to notice when I’m feeling sad or frustrated with something and dissect it. Is it serious? What can I do to change it? If I can’t change it the I’m just going to accept it and work on letting it go. Why harp on the things you can’t change? I find myself getting sad about the way certain people treat me and the fact of the matter is I can’t change them. I can only change the way I let it affect me.

I hope to make it to chapter 5 of my book so I can have a better understanding of the The Map so I can apply the techniques to my journey so far I’ve learned that I need to stop blaming others. You have all the control in your life. What a concept. You have the power to create the life you want and nobody else can stop you.

I am a stressed out person! To try to combat that I’m going to go to a meditation class with my coworker every Sunday. Meditating is just a great way to clear your mind and get some clarity and peace. We can all use a little peace. They will teach us some Buddhists principals as well so that will be interesting. I’m righteously excited about this class. It’s what I’m looking forward to at the end of the week.

This week is going to be my week! Nothing is going to get me down! Manifest a good life and put those positive thoughts out into the world.

Sincerely Me

The Road Less Traveled

Slumped over my tablet trying to muster up the courage to dig deep and talk about why I’m embarking on this spiritual journey… . When you wake up one day and realize that your life is going to hell in a hand basket you try to think of every way to stop it. I was recently diagnosed with manic depression so I started seeing a therapist to try to get a grip on things. Between the visits and the numbing effects of my Latuda I thought that would jump start some type of change in myself. Coming to terms with having depression is emotionally draining all in itself. During one of my visits with the therapist she mentioned how her daughter was bipolar and went on a trip to Europe to get some clarity. Knowing my financial situation I knew that wouldn’t be a possibility for me so I started googling and found some articles on ‘Spiritual Journeys’. Changing the way you think about things that negatively affect you and trying to manifest the greatest life possible for yourself really appealed to the chaotic manic state of mind I was in. Owning up to who you are and what is going on in your mind is a really tough battle, But on this magical journey in finding myself and becoming a person I love I knew revisiting my childhood and trying to change the way I handled certain situations would be the only way for healing.

The things you go through in your life really do define who you are as a person. Thinking back on my early years I can see why I’m so fearful of being rejected and unloved. I was born in a small town in the local hospital with my mother and father being the only people from my family in the room to welcome me into the world. My grandparents were too embarrassed by the fact that I was African American to come and support my mother during labor. During my first couple of days in the world a handful of people from my family came to visit me, but only to see how “dark” I was. Now don’t let this seem like I don’t love my family because I do. They mean so much to me. I adore my older cousins on my grandmother’s side and I appreciate how supportive they have always been. After I left the hospital my grandparents finally broke down to come and see me and embraced me with open arms. They fell in love with me instantly.

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My relationship with my grandparents was more like they we’re my actual parents. They looked after me while my mom was battling her own form of depression and loved me more than I could ever put into words. Everything good that has ever happened to be I contribute to the both of them. In 2007 I lost my biggest fan to breast cancer. She was the one who understood me most and in her eyes I could do no wrong. That chapter in my life has been a grey cloud that follows me everywhere I go. Since then it seems harder and harder to push on. There are not a lot of people in my life who I know without a shadow of a doubt love me unconditionally but my Nana did.

Most of my traumatic memories began in my early years. My mother and I lived in a tiny triplex and that is where I spent my crucial years of childhood. My father moved in shortly after we got settled in. My father was not perfect man. He loved me with all that he could, but imagine how hard it is to love someone when you don’t really love yourself. My parents had a very dysfunctional relationship. I lived in this triplex until I was four and I remember most of the things that took place in that home. Think about that for a second ..what do you remember during those years? Most people can’t remember anything that early, but I can recall every bloody lip and black eye my mother encountered during that time. I don’t think at the time my father truly understood how damaging that was for me. My father wasn’t a monster, I was and have always been petrified of the dark, late at night when my mother was sleeping I would crawl out of my crib and tip toe into the room and he would let me in on his side of the bed. The craziest part of it all is I felt safe right there with my father. Even after all the things I saw him do to my mother I still felt safe beside him every night.

The things that I experienced in my younger years and how I let them affect me molded me into a person who doesn’t let the right people in and throws the good people away.

My mother, who I blame for everything I endured , changed in my teen years into a bitter, hateful, woman who resented me for reasons I won’t even try to wrap my head around. For 10 years of my life I felt so abandoned by a man who I thought was my father only for her to tell me that there was another potential canidet. My mother robbed me of getting the chance to have any meaningful connection to either of them. Not only did I feel like she didn’t want me, but I felt like both of my father’s threw me away as well. A lot of my life was feelings of not being good enough. My self-esteem was and is still extremely low.

If I were to continue on with every negative thing that took place in my life, I feel like I could type for hours, but this isn’t what this journey is all about. I want to free myself of the negativity that took place back then. I want it to define me as a strong individual that can do anything she sets her mind to. I don’t want to be this person who is just walking through life with no real purpose or sense of direction. I’m hoping that by reading some of the things that I said you can connect to me on some type of level. Everyone goes through harsh things in life, it’s how we come out of them that really matters.

I want to post every Monday my goals for the week, some of my thoughts about the week, and some positive affirmations to help me manifest the best week possible. Every Sunday I will let you know how the week went, talk about this amazing book I’m reading by Boni Lonnsburry called The Map, and give you some tips and advice on how I’m handling this spiritual journey maybe in hopes of somehow helping you with yours. I really look forward to this experience and hope that you are ready for this amazing transformation I’m going to go through.

 

Sincerely me